(Spoiler: it is not you that needs to change.)
There is a moment, sometimes subtle, sometimes loud, when your body no longer feels like it used to.
Maybe it crept in quietly after having children.
Maybe it happened almost overnight during perimenopause.
Or maybe it is just the natural, human shifts that come with time, stress, lifestyle changes, or medication.
Whatever the reason, your body has changed. And no one really helped you figure out how to dress it now.
The Silent Struggle of Getting Dressed
You are standing in front of your wardrobe, staring at clothes that used to feel like “you.” But:
- That favourite dress clings in all the wrong places.
- Your once-trusted jeans no longer zip (or dig, or gape).
- You try on four different tops, only to feel deflated in all of them.
And somewhere in the back of your mind comes the whisper:
"I need to get back to where I was."
But here is the truth that hardly anyone says out loud:
It is not about going back. It is about dressing the woman you are now.
Your Body is NOT a “Before” Picture
We have been sold this idea, subtly and relentlessly, that we must bounce back after any change. As if a slightly softer tummy or a wider hip means something has gone wrong.
But nothing is wrong with your body.
Your body is not broken.
Your body has simply changed, because life happened.
What is broken? The idea that your old wardrobe should still work for your new body. That is where the real frustration begins.
It is the wardrobe that needs the update, not you.
So many of my clients come to me feeling like they have failed. That they need to get their body “back in shape” before they deserve to invest in new clothes.
But let me say this clearly:
You do not have to earn new clothes.
You do not have to shrink yourself to feel good in your skin again.
What you need is clarity:
- What is my body shape now?
- What necklines, cuts, and fabrics flatter this version of me?
- How can I find clothes that support how I feel, not just how I look?
Because when you dress in a way that works with your shape, everything softens. The judgement quiets down. The mirror becomes less cruel. Confidence sneaks back in.
You are allowed to dress with kindness
So many women dress reactively, buying stretchier clothes, hiding under layers, or sticking to black because they do not know what else to do. But dressing well is not about hiding. It is about making choices that can say:
I see you. I accept you. Let us make this work.
A few gentle, practical shifts to help today:
- Start with fabrics: Soft drapes, structured knits, and good-quality stretch can do wonders. Avoid clingy jersey unless it is layered well.
- Rethink your go-to shapes: If you used to love bodycon or skinny jeans, maybe try wrap styles or wide-leg trousers with shape at the waist.
- Prioritise proportion: A half-tuck, defined waist, or elongating neckline can instantly shift how something sits on your frame.
- Declutter the “used-to-fit” pile: Those clothes are not motivation, they are pressure. You deserve clothes for today, not someday.
Give yourself permission: To buy the next size up. To try something different. To let go of what used to work and explore what does now.
This is Not a Style Crisis. It is a Turning Point.
There is power in learning to dress your body as it is now.
There is pride in choosing ease over punishment.
There is joy in looking in the mirror and recognising yourself, not as a project, but as a woman who deserves to feel good.
So no, you do not need to “get back” to anything.
You just need a new approach , a new lens. One that meets you with kindness, style, and practicality.Because you have not outgrown your style.
Your style just needs to grow with you
Nichola xx